Words by Dave Fox

All articles on this website are copyrighted by Dave Fox, unless noted otherwise. Most are available for publication. For reprint permission, please e-mail Dave. Links to these articles from other websites are welcomed and appreciated, as long as you don't do anything sneaky to try to make them look like part of your site. For more information, please see the copyright page.

Humor Columns

Straight from the Fox's mouth... here's what's been gurgling in my brain.

Choose a year, or just scroll down the page:

2005   2004   2003   2002   2001   2000

2005

Le Tour de Rants

The Tour de France is a thrilling event in which sporty men with names like Lance attempt to ride bicycles through French villages without getting hit by camera crews on motorbikes.

2004

How Can You Have Any Pudding if You Don't Eat Your Meat?

An excerpt from Dave's forthcoming book of travel humor essays.

Masculinity Saved!

Part 2 of the above excerpt.

Live and Let Diet

Stupid and dangerous fun with Dr. Atkins.

Double Tall Confusion

Remedial Italian for Caffeine Addicts.

Driving Miss Crazy

A $27-million cure for road rage.

Innocent Victims

In defense of cadavers.

Happy Dysfunctional New Year 2004!

A procrastinator's guide to 2003.

2003
Attack of the Horny Goblins

If my car were a dog, it would be in the early stages of senility.

23 Gallons per Milo

I had never burped a baby. I had never burped anyone other than myself.

How to Paint Your Home and Get Free Lobster

Eventually I had the sticky kind of tape. And beer. It was time to start painting.

Humor in Sad Times

For a humor writer in wartime, what is appropriate?

Mr. Fox's Neighborhood

Life without Mr. Rogers.

Quit Cloning Around!

Your mama's a space alien.

This Little Piggy Went to Toys 'R' Us

The British government has informed farmers they must buy toys for their pigs.

Hooked on Bubonics

Don't panic! It's only the Plague!

Something to Chew On

A $10,000 piece of gum.

Happy Dysfunctional New Year 2003

A look back at last year's washing machine terror.

2002
Huggy Jesus

Machine-washable messiah wins tasteless toy award.

Lose Weight: Watch Television!

A little too much reality.

Beer and Tweezers

A bachelor's guide to home safety.

Free Keiko!

New proof that humans are stupid.

Foxitol

A word from our sponsor.

Italy Under Siege

A concise guide on how to be paranoid.

Long-Standing Debate

Raising the seat to its upright and locked position.

Winter Blast 2002!

Seattle copes with snow like infants cope with tetanus shots.

Letters to the Predator

E-mail from readers.

Happy Dysfunctional New Year 2002!

A look back at 2001.

2001
Make Love, Not Lutefisk

Norwegian-Americans: Stop torturing yourselves!

Don't Grope the Pope!

Stalking the Pontiff.

Queen Elizabeth and the Hoochie-Coochie Girls

A brief history of the Internet.

Boy Scouts Hijack CNN

No news is bad news.

My Oppressed Keys

My proud American keys never made it to Copenhagen.

Dave is a Sucker!

A special guest column by Sputnik the Cat.

Sputnik Has Landed!

I fed him roast beef. I was now his slave for life.

Business Class Clown

A peasant's guide to getting upgraded.

Ole and Olga

A world without jetlag.

Beware the Icelandic Menace!

A warning to the government, the media, and cats worldwide.

Traffic Storms

Why Seattle needs gridlock.

My Extremely Urgent Earthquake Report

Frequently asked questions about whether I am still alive.

2000
My First Cell Phone

Size matters.

 

Travel Reports

Many of these travel journals are unpolished stream-of-consciousness things I write on trains and buses, in hotel rooms late at night, and often in sleep-deprived or beer-influenced states of mind.

I lead tours for Rick Steves' Europe. Opinions expressed herein do not necessarily reflect those of Rick Steves or any other living organism. Furthermore, I don't even claim responsibility for my own opinions if I'm drunk when I write them down.

Choose a year, or just scroll down the page:

2003   2002   2001   2000

2003
Peter Cottontail's Revenge

Interlaken, Switzerland - America brings food to the starving Swiss people.

Door to Door

From Seattle to Stockholm - If you work for the airline industry, this article will offend you. To file a complaint, go stand in a very long line similar to the ones you always make me stand in.

Back in the (Former) USSR
Tallinn, Estonia - Signs of progress: Black-market Viagra and Hare Krishnas.

Binky the Rat
Venice, Italy - Poor Binky kept banging his tender rat snout on the bar door in a desperate quest for a glass of Chianti.

2002
Poison for the Journey Home
Somewhere over Greenland - Fine dining at 592 miles per hour.

Quack!
Isle sur la Sorgue, France - The Ugly American Duckling.

Infiltrating the Beautiful People

Isle sur la Sorgue, France - Will the real snob please stand up.

Vive la Bière!

Frejus, France - Beer and weight loss.

Bullets and Bikini Briefs

Nice, France - My first bomb scare.

Has Anybody Seen My Shirt?
Stockholm, Sweden - A traveler's lost and found.

Drinking Like a Fish
Ærøskøbing, Denmark - A Danish distillery sends fish to a happy death.

Home of the Giants
Stockholm, Sweden - The height of the average Swede is 8-foot-9, or roughly 2.9 kilometers in metric terms.

Jetlag Dreaming
Stockholm, Sweden - Dinner at breakfast time.

Peanut Butter and Herring
Seattle, Washington, USA - Ready for departure.

2001
Roamin' History

Rome, Italy - A Norwegian-American's Roman holiday.

I Like Boxes

Bergen, Norway - In search of cardboard.

Far from Reality

Oslo, Norway - Norway mourns September 11.

Waiting for Debbie

On the Baltic Sea - I feel like I'm on my honeymoon, except for the minor inconvenience that I am by myself.

A Traditional Danish Recipe

Copenhagen, Denmark - August 13, 2001

Axe Murderers and Space Aliens

Copenhagen, Denmark - August 10, 2001

Packer's Block

Flying over Northern Canada - August 9, 2001

Finnish Saunas: The Naked Truth

Helsinki, Finland - June 24, 2001

Happy Paavo Nurmi Day!

Stockholm, Sweden - June 13, 2001

Blind Date

Stockholm, Sweden - June 11, 2001

24 Hours

Kalmar, Sweden - May 21, 2001

Humble Patriotism

Drøbak, Norway - May 18, 2001

2000
Runaway Sheep!

Dublin, Ireland - August 30, 2000

Grace Under Pressure

Stockholm, Sweden - August 12, 2000

Who the Hell is Amanda Burton?

Oslo, Norway - June 13, 2000

How to Eat

Oslo, Norway - June 8, 2000

Goats on the Roof

Oslo, Norway - June 7, 2000

Nonsense at the Border

Copenhagen, Denmark - June 2, 2000

Booze and Sedatives

En Route: Seattle, Washington, USA to Copenhagen, Denmark - May 26, 2000


Travel and Culture
North of Darkness: The Indigenous Samis of Norway

Reel Audio: Chasing Musical Traditions in Modern Ireland

Ceol: Tradition Meets Technology at Dublin's Folk Music Museum

When Left is Right and Right is Wrong: Staying Sane on the Other Side of the Road

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch: A Small Town with a Big Name

Is the View from the Train Better in First Class? ... and Other Very Intelligent Questions

Prostitutes, Drugs, and a Magic Vest: Istanbul in a Bad Mood

Create a More Vivid Travel Journal: Ten Tips to Enliven Your Writing

Booze
The Water of Life: How Liquors Got their Names

Linie Aquavit: The Spirit of Norway

Liquor-ish Licorice: Anice-Laced Alcohols Offer Summer Refreshment

Absinthe: In Search of the Green Fairy

Sangria: A Bloody Good Spanish Punch

Bitters: Sampling Europe's Herbal Liquors

© Copyright Dave Fox 2000-2004