Dave's Travel Journals
Waiting for Debbie
Onboard the m/s Pearl of Scandinavia:
August 31, 2001
By Dave Fox
I feel a little bit like I am on my honeymoon right now, except for the minor inconvenience that I am by myself. I am sitting in a luxury suite on the m/s Pearl of Scandinavia, sailing from Oslo to Copenhagen, drinking free champagne, and eating free grapes and bananas, and wondering where the hell my wife is.
You might not know this about me, but I have a wife. Actually, I did not know this about me either until a few hours ago when I boarded the ship. When I told the ticket agent I was Dave Fox, she asked me where Debbie Fox was. The cabin was booked for two people. I told her I had no clue where Debbie Fox was... or who Debbie Fox was for that matter, but to please send Debbie to my cabin immediately if she checked in.
Personal message to Debbie Fox: Who are you, where are you, and when did we get married? The fact that you did not show up tonight leaves me to question the stability of our marriage, but it's your loss. (More champagne for me.)
A few months ago, I shamelessly sent an e-mail to DFDS, the ferry line that cruises between Oslo and Copenhagen each night, pointing out that I am an extremely important book researcher for Rick Steves, and that it was very sad that my company always sends me by train or airplane between Oslo and Copenhagen, because I never get to see their boat. It was a very formal sounding e-mail, to which I received a very formal response, offering me this free luxury suite for the night, complete with fruit basket, satellite television, cookies and coffee, beer, champagne, two bathrooms, a sprawling view of the sea, and more towels than I know what to do with.
Far more useful than any of this, however, is that once DFDS and I got over the necessary business formalities, Julie, the person who set all of this up for me, has taken on the extremely important task of keeping me updated on who gets voted off "Big Brother" every week.
The ship is newly refurbished, in fact the paint is still drying in some places. It used to be an Asian cruise ship. My cabin, the "Thai Suite," is ornately decorated with Thai-esque furniture and a statue of Buddha in the corner. Buddha is making me uncomfortable. A Buddhist monk once told me the worst thing a person can do is drink alcohol because it causes you to lose control of your mind. Drinking alcohol, he told me, is worse than killing someone. So this champagne is, I suppose, making me spiritually weak, but it's tasty and I am in need of instant gratification at the moment, even if it does delay my attainment of Nirvana.
On my way to the harbor this afternoon, I ran into my friend Henrik, who I had not seen in about four years. He had been working in Ethiopia for the last two years, and was back in Norway for two weeks, getting married, and about to take a new position working on a landmine removal project in Angola. My tour guiding woes suddenly felt trivial.
(The next morning...)
Tomorrow I begin my last lap around Scandinavia for the year. It's the first time we have attempted a Scandinavia tour in September, fearful in the past of nasty weather among other things. But at 9 this morning as I cinched up my backpack and ended my night of luxury, Copenhagen was already 70 degrees (20 C). I avoided the scuffle for taxis and walked along the harbor toward my hotel.
Debbie Fox never did show up last night. Her flakiness is starting to annoy me.
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