Dave's Travel Journals
Royalty on the Run
Bergen. Norway: August 28, 2001
By Dave Fox
The prince and princess of Norway are attempting to do what all newly married people should do: party their butts off. This, however, is difficult when you have 394 (give or take) tabloid journalists attempting to shove their lenses up your nostrils.
(Personal message to Their Majesties Prince Haakon and Princess Mette-Marit (in case you guys happen to duck into a cybercafe during your honeymoon to check out davethefox.com): Your majesties, you rock. I am very impressed with your ability to ditch the hundreds of reporters who have been stalking you.)
For the non-royal subscribers to this mailing list, here is the story:
A couple of days ago, Haakon and Mette-Marit, clad in their wedding regalia, hopped on board the royal yacht in Oslo. The next morning when the yacht arrived in Copenhagen, the paparazzi were waiting. The newlyweds, however, were nowhere to be seen. The captain of the yacht had a wild giggling fit in front of the international press, as they realized they might has well have been following an eel around all night long.
Rumor has it, according to Norwegian State Television (NRK), the couple somehow snuck onto another boat during the night, changed into jeans and t-shirts, and nonchalantly wandered into a hotel yesterday morning in Düsseldorf, Germany, with no reservation. They got a room and crashed for the night. By the time the hotel staff realized who they were, they were gone.
A hotel doorman in a frilly white suit and goofy hat told NRK, "They were dressed completely normally, just like you and me."
(Personal message to the doorman: Dude, YOU are not dressed normally.)
Highly trustworthy media sources (the same guys who were waiting for the prince and princess in Copenhagen) are now reporting that the couple is on their way to... would you believe Newark, New Jersey?
This worries me for two reasons:
1) According to highly reliable Norwegian media sources, Mette-Marit is terrified of flying. And after all the recent gossip about her past involvement in the Oslo rave scene, she probably cannot get away with a Sominex-akvavit cocktail to help her through the flight.
2) Newark, New Jersey smells like... well, like Newark, New Jersey. It is not a place one should pass through on one's honeymoon.
But I suspect the couple will not linger in the so-called Garden State for long. Perhaps they will rent a nondescript compact car and visit Wall Drug.
Anyway... for those of you in America, if you see two people in jeans and T-shirts with Norwegian accents, please do not alert the press. Buy the Norwegians a beer and tell them I said hei.
 |