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January 8Cambodia Outlaws Glitter1970s glam rock star Gary Glitter has been expelled from Cambodia and told he can never return.The deportation stems from a 1999 incident in which Glitter was jailed for possession of child pornography. Glitter was known in the 1970s for his hit song, "Do You Want to Touch Me?" He is reportedly working on a new song entitled, "Never Mind. I'll Take Care of it Myself."
January 6Imaginary Friends Cheer Tax BreakPresident Bush announced plans today to stimulate the economy by eliminating taxes on stock dividends. Democrats have criticized the plan, noting that no American has received a stock dividend in nearly two years. Osama OnlineA lawyer for the Islamic Jihad claims he has received e-mail from Osama bin Laden's top lieutenant, Ayman al-Zawahiri. The e-mail is reported to have said, "Babes in burkas are waiting to show you their ankles! Click here for hot nasty action!" Scientists Announce Space Aliens are LiarsFormer ABC News science reporter Michael Guillen said today that a cult claiming to have cloned a human baby was probably putting on an "elaborate hoax." The Raelian religious movement made its claim on December 26, but the group has failed to offer proof. Journalists have covered the story in depth, giving widespread publicity to the Las Vegas based sect that believes humans were created by space travelers 25,000 years ago. Guillen, who has been investigating the Raelian cloning claim, said today, "It's sad to think we can no longer trust Las Vegas cults that believe in space aliens." Security BlanketAn airport security screener in Seattle has been fired after falling asleep on the job . Airport officials are calling the employee's behavior "inexcusable." They added that as a new security measure, airport vending machines will no longer offer two dollar travel packs of barbituates.
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